You refuse me immediately; I overrule you right away, in public.

I know it’s impolite for me to shout at her on the bus, but I can’t help it, and I thought it was my right to arrange my vacations; I never take a long and series days off for holidays since Jan 2001.

“I saved my vacations for these days.” I should have said that, but it was hard for me to rephrase with humble manner and ignoring her mean attitude. Because I would take her words seriously, and assumed that she wouldn’t approve my application that I planed to hand out earlier today.

If she takes herself as a foreigner or a deeply cultivated Chinese lived aboard for decades, she would have known that it’s her duty to ask her employee’s plan about vacations at the beginning of the year, or even every three months, she could prearrange everyone’s work-and-rest schedule without complaints. Doesn’t she KNOW THAT?

She thought she worked hard and she’s so frustrated, and so do we!

We all need a short break or a long-term vacation to regain the strengths and motivation for work. Stick on your position may be granted as a role model of diligent, but it’s better to stop for a while, and that might create more possibilities.

Anyway, I will hand that application out and enjoy the amusement of film festival.

(練習文，文法有錯請見諒…)

家暴…婚前就有，為何要結婚？

女主播被丈夫打了，隔了很久才站出來說出家暴心聲，婚前就被毆打了，既然這樣為何要結婚？先前女議員、女明星都被打，永遠都是女人受害，只因為先天生理弱勢而無法制止嗎？又因為後來的心軟而原諒才讓這種循環一再出現？

家暴情況會一再重複，教育也沒有用，是整體社會的失敗，包括家庭。

家暴不是開玩笑，不過，怎麼新聞報導都不平衡一下，找一些家暴男性站出來控訴…應該也很有探討的空間吧。

沒有沙漠，也沒有無花果樹

那個哭泣的牧羊少年把受傷失意的日記攤開來，不是羊的問題，也不是書本的問題，只是走了這麼久卻依然找不到滿意的答案。

也想沉浸在那樣的哀傷裡，讓流不出的淚水洗滌不會跳動的心臟，然後漂浮著。只不過，收起眼淚的牧羊少年把日記捲起，不讓人看見那失落喪氣的一頁。

人，其實都做著重覆的事，可預見的都在心裡，答案也是。

能決定的，就是看不見的未來，就像還沒出發前的牧羊少年一樣。

無法安慰失去連絡的牧羊少年，他也已經收起灰心重新振作，就算循著水晶杯的閃光，穿越綠洲和漫天捲來的風暴，最後來到那個夢境裡的無花果樹前，還是沒辦法告訴他：別這麼在意，你已經完成一段旅程了，並不是一無所獲。

世界太多，錯過了進入的時機與入口，就再也找不到夢中的香格里拉。

XVII：STAR

進入第四季的第一個星期一，心中暗忖：今天一定要開個牌。

雖然隔了一陣子，牌還是很正確地反應目前的心境，問了不同方向的問題，牌面都一樣精確；最後一張還都是倒XIX。

心情還在搖擺、目標不夠明確，就這麼透明嗎？
回程昏暗車廂裡自問：害怕嗎？因為不敢放空？
所以現在是滿的，什麼也裝不下？是吧。
倒掉吧。
不想自怨自艾，也不想變成蘑菇。

目前只有大阿爾卡，今日是正星。
漫天的星光，卻覺得好寂寞。



(下次有宮廷牌一定要滿天金幣啦！)